Talking to Young People About Grooming: A Guide for Adults

Grooming is a serious issue that can put young people at risk of exploitation and abuse. As an adult, it’s crucial to understand what grooming is, recognise the warning signs, and know how to have open and supportive conversations with young people.

This guide will help you navigate these important discussions and protect those in your care.

What Is Grooming?

Grooming is a process where someone builds a relationship with a young person to manipulate, exploit, or abuse them. Groomers often take their time gaining trust before introducing harmful behaviours. Grooming can happen online or in person and can lead to emotional, physical, or sexual abuse.

Grooming Happens Over Time

One of the most important things to understand about grooming is that it does not happen all at once. Groomers often start by being kind and generous, making young people feel special. This might include giving gifts, offering compliments, or showing extra attention. Over time, they may begin to push boundaries, such as encouraging secrecy, testing limits, or introducing inappropriate topics. Because grooming is a gradual process, it can sometimes be difficult to recognise until it has already escalated. Knowing the signs early can help prevent harm.

Signs of Grooming to Look Out For

Grooming can take many forms, but here are some common behaviours to watch for:

• Building Trust: Groomers often act as friendly, supportive figures, sometimes posing as mentors, friends, or even romantic partners.
• Giving Gifts or Money: They may offer presents, money, or other favours to create a sense of obligation.
• Encouraging Secrecy: Groomers may ask a young person to keep their conversations or interactions a secret from family and friends.
• Introducing Sexual Content: They might start by making inappropriate jokes, sending explicit images, or asking for personal photos.
• Testing Boundaries: They may gradually push limits, such as asking for small favours before escalating to more serious requests.
• Threats or Blackmail: Some groomers use fear tactics, such as threatening to reveal private information or embarrassing photos if the young person doesn’t comply.

Where Does Grooming Happen?

Grooming can happen in various environments, including:

• Social Media (Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, etc.)
• Gaming Platforms (Discord, Xbox Live, PlayStation Network, etc.)
• School or Work Environments
• Clubs, Sports Teams, or Religious Groups

How to Talk to Young People About Grooming

It’s important to have open, honest, and age-appropriate discussions about grooming. Here are some tips for starting the conversation:

• Create a Safe Space: Make sure young people feel comfortable talking to you without fear of judgement or punishment.
• Use Real-Life Examples: Explain grooming using relatable scenarios to help them understand the risks.
• Teach Critical Thinking: Encourage them to question and evaluate online interactions and relationships.
• Explain Online Safety: Talk about privacy settings, the risks of sharing personal information, and how to recognise inappropriate behaviour.
• Encourage Open Communication: Let them know they can come to you if something doesn’t feel right.

What to Do If You Suspect Grooming

If you suspect a young person is being groomed, take the following steps:

1. Listen and Support: Stay calm and let them speak without interruption or judgement.
2. Do Not Blame Them: Groomers manipulate their victims; it is never the young person’s fault.
3. Report the Groomer: You can report online grooming to platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. In the UK, you can report concerns to CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection) or the NSPCC.
4. Gather Evidence: If possible, save messages or screenshots as evidence.
5. Seek Professional Support: Encourage the young person to talk to a trusted adult, school counsellor, or a support organisation like Childline.

How to Help Young People Stay Safe Online

To reduce the risk of grooming:

• Educate About Privacy: Encourage young people to keep personal information private and avoid sharing details with strangers online.
• Monitor Online Activity: Keep an open dialogue about who they interact with online and encourage them to share concerns.
• Set Boundaries: Establish rules for internet use, such as not accepting friend requests from strangers.
• Teach Digital Resilience: Help them recognise red flags and empower them to walk away from suspicious interactions.

Grooming is a serious issue, but through awareness and open conversations, we can help protect young people. If you suspect grooming, take action and provide support. The more we educate ourselves and others, the safer our communities will be.

The post Talking to Young People About Grooming: A Guide for Adults was created by First Light.