Consent is one of the most important topics to discuss with young people, but it can also feel like a tricky conversation to start. Many teenagers and young adults are navigating relationships for the first time, and they need clear, honest, and non-judgemental guidance to understand what healthy, respectful interactions look like.
As an adult—whether you’re a parent, teacher, or mentor—your role is to help them understand that consent isn’t just about laws; it’s about mutual respect, communication, and personal boundaries.
Why Conversations About Consent Matter
Young people are constantly exposed to mixed messages about relationships—through social media, films, and peer culture. Some of these messages may downplay the importance of consent or create confusion about what it really means.
By talking openly about consent, you can:
Help them build healthy, respectful relationships
Empower them to set and communicate boundaries
Encourage them to recognise and challenge harmful behaviours
Ensure they understand legal and ethical aspects of consent
How to Explain Consent in a Way That Resonates
Define Consent Clearly
Consent is a clear, enthusiastic, and voluntary agreement to engage in an activity. It’s not just about sex—it applies to any situation where one person’s actions affect another.
Try explaining it in everyday terms:
“Just like you wouldn’t borrow someone’s phone without asking, you shouldn’t assume physical affection is okay without checking in first.”
Encourage them to think of consent as an ongoing conversation rather than a one-time question.
Address Common Misconceptions
Some young people may have picked up false ideas about consent, so it’s important to clarify:
“If they don’t say no, it means yes.”
No—silence, hesitation, or uncertainty is not consent. Consent should be clear and enthusiastic.
“Being in a relationship means consent is automatic.”
No—every interaction requires consent, even in a long-term relationship.
“If someone has agreed to something before, they can’t change their mind.”
No—consent can be withdrawn at any time.
Talk About the Age of Consent
Young people need to understand that the legal age of consent exists to protect them. In the UK, the age of consent is 16, meaning anyone under that age legally cannot give consent to sexual activity.
This is a crucial point to discuss, especially with teenagers, so they understand the legal and ethical responsibilities that come with relationships.
Help Them Recognise When Consent Can’t Be Given
Consent is not valid if someone is:
Under the age of consent
Too drunk or high to make a clear decision
Asleep or unconscious
Feeling pressured, manipulated, or threatened
Teach them to recognise red flags and ensure they understand that no one has the right to push, guilt, or pressure them—or anyone else—into anything.
Encourage Open and Honest Conversations
The best way to help young people understand consent is to create a safe space where they can ask questions without fear of judgement.
Be approachable – Let them know they can come to you with questions or concerns.
Avoid lecturing – Instead of saying “You should never…,” try “How do you feel about…?”
Use real-life examples – Scenarios from TV shows, social media, or everyday situations can make the conversation more relatable.
Model Respectful Communication
Young people learn more from what they see than from what they’re told. Demonstrate what healthy, respectful communication looks like—whether that’s how you interact with a partner, friend, or even how you ask for permission in everyday life.
Equip Them with Practical Tools
Encourage young people to practise asking for consent and setting their own boundaries by giving them simple, practical phrases like:
“Are you comfortable with this?”
“We can stop anytime, just let me know.”
“I’m not really into that—can we do something else?”
These small but powerful tools can help them feel more confident in real situations.
Talking about consent doesn’t have to be awkward or uncomfortable. The key is to approach it as an ongoing, open conversation that empowers young people to respect their own boundaries and those of others.
By providing clear guidance, challenging harmful myths, and modelling respectful communication, you can help them navigate relationships with confidence, respect, and awareness.
Remember: The more comfortable you are talking about consent, the more comfortable young people will be asking questions and understanding their rights.
The post Talking to Young People About Consent: A Guide for Adults was created by First Light.