Relationships should be safe, supportive, and full of respect. However, sometimes what starts as love can turn into something harmful. Abuse isn’t always obvious, and it’s not just physical—there are many ways someone can be controlling or hurtful in a relationship.

If you’re between 16 and 24, this is a crucial time to recognise unhealthy patterns before they escalate.

Here are some signs of abuse you should never ignore:

They Constantly Put You Down

If your partner makes you feel worthless by insulting you, mocking your interests, or making jokes at your expense, that’s emotional abuse. Love should build you up, not tear you down.

They Control Who You See and What You Do

 Do they get mad when you hang out with friends or family? Do they try to control your social media, tell you what to wear, or where you can go? That’s a red flag for controlling behaviour.

They Gaslight You 

Gaslighting is when someone manipulates you into questioning your reality. If they deny things they clearly said or did, make you feel crazy for bringing up concerns, or act like everything is your fault, they are being emotionally abusive.

They’re Extremely Jealous and Possessive 

A little jealousy is normal, but if they accuse you of cheating for no reason, demand to check your phone, or freak out when you talk to others, that’s toxic behaviour.

They Isolate You from Friends and Family 

An abusive partner might try to cut you off from your support system, making you feel like they’re the only one you can rely on. This can make it harder to leave an unhealthy situation.

They Blame You for Everything 

Do they always say, “You made me do this,” or “It’s your fault I got mad”? Taking responsibility for their own actions is important—blaming you for their behaviour is a warning sign.

They Have Intense Mood Swings 

One moment, they’re loving and sweet, and the next, they explode over something small. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them, that’s not okay.

They Use Physical Force (Even Small Gestures) 

If they grab your arm too tightly, shove you, block a doorway to stop you from leaving, or physically hurt you in any way, that’s abuse. No one has the right to put their hands on you.

They Threaten You or Make You Feel Unsafe 

Threats don’t have to be direct. If they say things like, “You’ll regret it if you leave,” or “I can’t live without you,” they’re trying to manipulate you into staying. This is emotional abuse.

They Love-Bomb You, Then Withdraw 

At the start, they may shower you with gifts, compliments, and intense love (this is called love-bombing). But suddenly, they pull away, ignore you, or become cold. This cycle keeps you hooked in an unhealthy relationship.

What to Do If You See These Signs

If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Talk to someone you trust—a friend, family member, or counsellor. Abuse can escalate over time, so recognising it early can help you make the safest decision for yourself.

Love should feel safe. Respect should be mutual. If a relationship makes you feel scared, anxious, or unworthy, it’s time to take a step back and reassess. You deserve happiness, love, and safety.