Spiritual abuse is when faith, beliefs, or religious authority are used to control, harm, or silence someone.
It can happen in churches, faith groups, families, or other spiritual settings.
It often leaves people feeling confused, guilty, afraid, or cut off from support.

You do not need to be religious for your experience to matter.

Quick definition

Spiritual abuse is when someone uses faith, scripture, beliefs, or spiritual authority to control, coerce, shame, or harm another person.

It can happen on its own, or alongside emotional, psychological, sexual, or financial abuse.

What spiritual abuse can look like

Spiritual abuse is not always obvious. It often happens slowly and can feel “normal” at the time.

It may include:

• Being told you must obey a leader, spouse, or group “because God says so”
• Having doubts, questions, or boundaries labelled as sinful or rebellious
• Being shamed, threatened, or isolated for not complying
• Pressure to forgive quickly or stay silent to “protect the church” or “keep the peace”
• Being blamed for harm done to you
• Having your identity, choices, or safety controlled through faith language
• Being told suffering is your spiritual duty or a test of faith

You may still care about faith, or you may not.
Both are valid.

Spiritual abuse and faith settings

Churches and faith communities have a responsibility to care for people safely.

Harm can occur when boundaries are crossed or when religious values, beliefs, or practices are forced onto people, particularly those who may be vulnerable.

Within faith settings, spiritual abuse may involve:

• The misuse of religious authority or leadership roles
• Oppressive or controlling teaching
• Pressure to submit, repent, or comply without consent
• Intrusive prayer, healing, or deliverance practices
• Disciplinary approaches that shame, silence, or isolate
• Denying someone autonomy, dignity, or the right to make their own choices

When religious belief or practice is used inappropriately, it can result in physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual harm.

Spiritual care should never override personal safety, consent, or wellbeing.

Spiritual abuse can also include denying someone the freedom to explore, question, or step away from faith, or preventing them from growing in their own understanding in a safe and voluntary way.

How spiritual abuse affects people

Spiritual abuse can deeply affect how someone sees themselves, others, and the world.

Common impacts include:

• Fear, anxiety, or shame
• Loss of confidence or trust in your own judgement
• Confusion about what is right or wrong
• Feeling trapped, powerless, or watched
• Difficulty trusting people or organisations
• Feeling cut off from community or support
• Long-term emotional or mental health harm

Many people say the spiritual impact lasts longer than they expected.

Is spiritual abuse the same as disagreement or strict beliefs?

No.

Spiritual abuse is not:

• A difference of opinion
• Personal faith practices you choose freely
• Healthy guidance that respects consent and boundaries
• Teaching that allows questioning and autonomy

The key difference is power and control.

If faith is used to remove choice, silence you, or keep you unsafe, that is abuse.

Who can experience spiritual abuse?

Anyone.

Spiritual abuse can affect:

• Adults and children
• People of any faith, or none
• Survivors of other forms of abuse
• People in leadership or volunteer roles
• Families and partners
• People born into faith communities

You do not have to fit a “type” for your experience to count.

Signs you might be experiencing (or recovering from) spiritual abuse

You might recognise some of these:

• You feel afraid to disagree or ask questions
• You were told abuse was your fault or part of God’s plan
• You were pressured to stay in a harmful situation
• You were discouraged from seeking outside help
• You still feel guilt or fear even after leaving
• You struggle to trust your instincts or boundaries

If something didn’t feel right, that matters.

Can spiritual abuse happen without physical harm?

Yes.

Spiritual abuse is often psychological and emotional.
There may be no visible signs.
That does not make it less serious.

What if I’m not sure it “counts”?

Many people minimise their experience because:

• “Others had it worse”
• “No one meant harm”
• “It was about faith”
• “I stayed”

Uncertainty is common.
You do not need to label your experience to seek support.

Support and next steps

If you think you may have experienced spiritual abuse:

• You deserve to be listened to without judgement
• You deserve support that is independent and safe
• You do not have to decide what to believe or do next right now

Talking to someone who understands spiritual abuse can help you make sense of what happened, at your pace.

You are not alone

Spiritual abuse thrives in silence.
Understanding it is a first step toward clarity, safety, and healing.

If this page resonates with you, support is available.

The post What Is Spiritual Abuse? was created by First Light.