Conversations about sex and relationships with young people can be challenging, but one of the most critical topics to address is sexual coercion. As parents, guardians, mentors, or educators, it’s our responsibility to equip young people with the knowledge and confidence to recognise and resist coercion while fostering respectful relationships.

What Is Sexual Coercion?

Sexual coercion is any situation in which someone is pressured, manipulated, or forced into sexual activity without full and enthusiastic consent. It can involve guilt-tripping, threats, intimidation, persistent pressure, or leveraging power imbalances. Many young people may not recognise coercion when it happens, which is why open conversations are so essential.

Why Talking About It Matters

Many young people feel uncomfortable discussing sex and relationships with adults, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need guidance. Studies show that clear, judgement-free conversations about consent and boundaries lead to healthier relationships and reduce the likelihood of sexual violence. Without these discussions, young people may rely on misinformation or peer pressure to shape their understanding of consent.

How to Start the Conversation

1. Create a Safe Space Approach the topic with an open mind and a non-judgemental attitude. Let them know they can ask questions and share their thoughts without fear of shame or punishment.
2. Define Consent Clearly Explain that consent is not just the absence of a “no,” but the presence of a clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing “yes.” Teach them that real consent cannot be obtained through pressure, fear, or intoxication.
3. Use Real-Life Scenarios Walk through hypothetical or real-life situations that illustrate coercion. For example, ask: “What would you do if a partner kept asking for sex after you said no?” or “How can you support a friend who feels pressured into something they don’t want to do?”
4. Discuss Common Myths Challenge harmful beliefs such as “If they really love me, they’ll do it” or “They didn’t say no, so it must be okay.” Help them recognise manipulative tactics and the importance of respecting boundaries.
5. Emphasise Personal Agency and Boundaries Encourage them to set and uphold personal boundaries and to respect others’ boundaries as well. Reassure them that their feelings and comfort matter and that they never owe anyone sexual access.
6. Model Healthy Communication Demonstrate how to communicate openly and respectfully in relationships. Show them that expressing boundaries and listening to others is a normal part of any healthy interaction.

Keeping the Conversation Going

Talking about sexual coercion shouldn’t be a one-time discussion. Keep the lines of communication open by checking in periodically and revisiting the topic as they grow. Encourage them to come to you with questions or concerns, and remind them that they have the right to say no in any situation.

By talking to young people about sexual coercion, we empower them to build healthy, respectful relationships and protect themselves from harm. These conversations may feel uncomfortable at first, but they are essential for fostering a culture of consent and respect. The more we normalise discussions about boundaries and healthy relationships, the better prepared young people will be to navigate the complexities of dating and intimacy with confidence and respect.