Grooming is a serious issue that affects young people around the world. It’s important to understand what grooming is, how to recognise it, and what steps to take if you or someone you know is being groomed. In this guide, we’ll answer key questions about grooming, give real-life examples, and help you stay safe online and in real life.
What Is Grooming?
Grooming is when someone builds a relationship with a young person to manipulate, exploit, or abuse them. Groomers often take their time gaining trust before introducing harmful behaviours. Grooming can happen online or in person and can lead to emotional, physical, or sexual abuse.
Grooming Happens Over Time
One of the most important things to understand about grooming is that it does not happen all at once. Groomers often start by being kind and generous, making young people feel special. This might include giving gifts, offering compliments, or showing extra attention. Over time, they may begin to push boundaries, such as encouraging secrecy, testing limits, or introducing inappropriate topics. Because grooming is a gradual process, it can sometimes be difficult to recognise until it has already escalated. Knowing the signs early can help prevent harm.
Examples of Grooming Behaviour
Grooming can take many forms, but here are some common signs to watch out for:
- Gaining Trust: Groomers often act as friendly, supportive figures, sometimes posing as a mentor, friend, or even a romantic partner.
- Giving Gifts or Money: They may offer presents, money, or other favours to create a sense of obligation.
- Isolating You from Others: Groomers may encourage you to keep secrets from family and friends or discourage you from talking to trusted adults.
- Introducing Sexual Content: They might start by making inappropriate jokes, sending explicit images, or asking for personal photos.
- Testing Boundaries: They may gradually push limits to see how much they can get away with, such as asking you to do small favours before escalating to more serious requests.
- Threats or Blackmail: Some groomers use fear tactics, such as threatening to reveal private information or embarrassing photos if you don’t comply with their demands.
Where Does Grooming Happen?
Grooming can happen anywhere, but some common places include:
- Social Media (Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, etc.)
- Gaming Platforms (Discord, Xbox Live, PlayStation Network, etc.)
- School or Work Environments
- Clubs, Sports Teams, or Religious Groups
How to Recognise Inappropriate Behaviour
Some behaviours should raise red flags, including:
- An adult or older person messaging you privately and being overly friendly or personal.
- Someone insisting that you keep your conversations or relationship a secret.
- Anyone asking you for personal pictures, even if they claim it’s “just for fun.”
- Someone making you feel guilty or obligated to talk to them or do things for them.
- An online friend wanting to meet in person in a secretive or rushed way.
What to Do If You Suspect Grooming
If you or someone you know is being groomed, take these steps:
- Stop Communication: If someone makes you uncomfortable, block them and stop responding to their messages.
- Talk to Someone You Trust: Speak with a parent, teacher, school counsellor, or another trusted adult.
- Report the Person: You can report online grooming to platforms like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and gaming networks.
- Save Evidence: If someone has sent inappropriate messages or images, take screenshots and keep them as evidence.
- Get Support: If you’re feeling scared or confused, reach out to support organisations like Childline.
How to Stay Safe Online
To reduce the risk of grooming:
- Keep Personal Information Private: Avoid sharing your real name, address, school, or other details online.
- Be Cautious with Online Friends: Not everyone is who they say they are. If someone you’ve never met in person starts asking for personal details, be wary.
- Use Privacy Settings: Adjust your social media settings to limit who can contact you.
- Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t be afraid to cut off communication and seek help.
Grooming is a serious issue, but knowing the signs and taking action can help keep you and others safe. If you ever feel uncomfortable with how someone is behaving, trust yourself and seek help. You are never alone, and there are people who care about your safety.
The post Grooming: What It Is, How to Spot It, and What to Do was created by First Light.
